.Tuesday, December 1, 2009 ' 2:03 PM Y
hi hahaha
i waiting for you to reply my msn so i know if i should post this anot!!
k its jus alot of thoughts that i havent been letting go. which makes things worse cos more and more feelings make me more sensitive.
AND , important is.
im not trying to make u angry or unhappy. im jus going to say everything i have wanted to say these past few days but either didnt dare/ want to say. so if it makes u more upset or wtv then sorry
k..... lets see how to start.. k start from.. the day u got annoyed by cs.
yes, uh, i can say that im over it already but i want to tell u why i was 'affected' . no, its not cos u misunderstooded me. i mean u were annoyed right, but u nv think that when u were pek cheking me u were the one in the wrong and the way u talking is like as if im dumb i dont understand what the quest is and then i was still trying to explain to u normally and i was supposed to be the one annoyed with u but i wasnt. ok, then after that u told me u were annoyed with cs not me, cos it made u misunderstand me. then? so i supposed to say sorry for not telling u the quest changed that made u annoyed? i guess maybe i was jus waiting for u to apologise. but u didnt . so after awhile i got over it already.
then the funny thing is, ytday when u msg me 'sorry' for idk what, sleeping earlier than me maybe? then iim thinking. so its not that hard for u to say sorry to me. then why didnt u say that day? unless u thought u weren't wrong la. then i dont know.
k nx one iss......... the day u came to tp .
about changing yr 1$ coin. seriously until now, idk why u didnt want to change it yrself. yes its my sch. so? not like i know the people there that i asked. and i know i wont die if i helped u ask, but why u dont want? and most importantly, you are the one who need the coin, not me. so u suggest taking cab. what if the nx day u tell me u not eating cos no money. i know u said still got money at home but its not like u no money to take bus u jus didnt want to ask.
and ive been trying to think why, but i really dont know.
then the last one( i think) is quite small la. and maybe i was pmsing but like i said, i jus wanna type what i feel cos there's too many things that ive been thinking abt recently.
about asking hx karen they all go out with yr frens.
i know they are my frens so u think i should ask them myself. but the thing is its yr frens that want them to go right? 2ndly i know they cant cos they study. and even if they are free, and we really all go tgt, what if they dont talk again . then who has to be the one to try making conversation and stuck between them. US. soo.. actually i dont know whats the point. bt i dont want to be responsible if like.. anything la. ok i cant think already.
oh actually there's one more.. the sleeping thing.
really la, im not asking u to change, or complaining . im jus whining and sometimes i wish that u could bt thats all. i dont want to deprive u of yr sleep or wtv.
which leads to wat u told me long long ago.
u said that i have all the rights cos im yr gf.
i was thinking and thinking and i realised actually i dont. bt obviously from the start i knew that it didnt mean much actually. because.. seeing all the small things that has been happening recently. what right do i have?
i dont even have the right to ask u to do something for yourself.
so i have to be the one to do something i dont like to do myself for you?
and the fact that u're guilty for sleeping on me means even u agree u're to blame( partly)
i mean if u were pissed that im so sensitive and dont let u sleep. then ok la, but u said that i made u feel guilty.
guilty (gil′tē)
adjective
guiltier guilt′i·er,
guiltiest guilt′i·est
having guilt; deserving blame or punishment; culpable
having one's guilt proved; legally judged an offender
showing or conscious of guilt a guilty look
of or involving guilt or a sense of guilt a guilty conscience
haha ok sorry. abit lame already. YES> i have no more feeling to blog. hahaha see thats good. i relieved everything.
i dont want u to be offended by anything. u can correct me if im wrong
u can help me by explaining some things that i dont understand that u do
and i dont need any apology of any sort because its all over already.
and i wonder. its the first time i ever had accumulated unhappiness. maybe i dont like to tell u everything nowadays cos i hate being associated with being over sensitive. but maybe i am..
yup. haha
yay im done. and i took more than half hour. LOLOL.
i still love you as much!!! or maybe more!
yes, sorry i didnt go rp today.
i really wanted to goooooo, bt ytday after u talk abt yr sleeping thing. the feeling kind of gone. and im nt blaming u la.
the journey is long, but i reall dont mind at all cos i get to meet u , even if its like maybe 2-3 hrs.
ya but somehow last night i thought i couldnt really like put aside all my feelings to pretend nothing happened and be the one to do all these. cos sometimes( i know im mean) but i know that if u were me, u wouldnt come all the way for such a short time and go all the way back. like u said, waste time, waste money, waste energy. so why do i do it?
haha
omg ok i think im going to stop now!
i dont know what i want to get out of telling u all these. but its really jus how i feeeel,
but i guess one thing makes me unhappy the most is when u dont mean what u say, like if u not sure or what then better not to say. like.. some days u say u can stay home pei me whole day right? then when im home, then u say yr frens ask u out or bro blah blah, jus make me feel ABIT cheated. likee i so excited to play/ talk with u right, then u gtg. i mean if u know MAYBE yr frens gg ask u( cos i know they will sudd ask u not plan one) i mean then u shouldnt promise or say that u would. it wouldnt make me feel like cheated hahaha
dont kill me okkkkkkk :((
its juss my thoughts in my headdddddddd!!!!
LYYYYYYY
<3
Labels: complains, donut
